


bit by bit we restart

by mothicalcreatures (laelreenia)



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: F/F, Fix-It, Fluff, Gender Dysphoria, Genesis is also a trans dude, Rare Pairings, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Sephiroth, Wedding Planning, Weddings, ffvii rare pair week 2019, gender euphoria, of sorts, some people are still dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 13:08:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17867852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laelreenia/pseuds/mothicalcreatures
Summary: Sephiroth has some anxieties as she prepares for her and Aerith's wedding.





	bit by bit we restart

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Day 4 of the FFVII Rare Pair Week for the prompt Events.
> 
> The title is from the song Disaster Hearts by I Fight Dragons.
> 
> EDIT: [ Now complete with playlist! (Best listened to on shuffle) ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3kGKIMpiQDKYByyjoCPaq1)

Sephiroth spun in front of the mirror and frowned at the way the bright white gown fell against her body. “I don’t know, Genesis. It just doesn’t… I don’t _hate_ it…”

Genesis came up behind Sephiroth, trying to avoid hovering too close behind her. “What’s wrong with it? We’ve been through almost every cut and style of dress over the past week.”

Sephiroth sighed. “I don’t think it’s the dress, I think it’s me. I’ve never… outside of that one PR stunt we pulled with SOLDIER I’ve never _worn_ a dress for anything.”

Genesis raised an eyebrow. “Really?’

“I never had the time and I’ve barely… Everything’s made for women with hips and breast and I’m sorely lacking both.”

“That’s why you get your things altered, besides, both of those things will grow in time, you only started estrogen two months ago.”

“How did you deal with it?” Sephiroth asked, turning to face Genesis.

“I chose clothes that flattered my figure and shaped my body for me,” Genesis said. “I also got lucky,” he added. “My parents were accepting and got me on puberty blockers and then I started testosterone early. You’ve see my breasts, they’re barely an A cup because I got to flip the off switch for my first puberty.”

Sephiroth sighed. “And I got Hojo and no choice.”

“But you have a choice now,” Genesis said gently. “Now, unless you’re dead set on getting married in a dress, why don’t we look at some women’s suits.”

 

Several suits later to no more success, Genesis stopped Sephiroth. “I think we need to stop and figure out what specifically is bothering you. Because as much as I think it could be a dysphoria issue it could also just be a wedding anxiety issue exacerbating other anxieties.”

Sephiroth chuckled when Genesis said that.

“What?”

Sephiroth shook her head. “When did you get any good at emotion conversations?”

“I spent a good four years stuck in the caves below Shinra Tower with nothing to do but think, and you didn’t hear me say this, but, sometimes, after a while, doing nothing but play Loveless on repeat in your head can get… boring.”

That got a genuine laugh from Sephiroth. “Forgive me if I don’t believe you,” she said.

Genesis rolled his eyes, “Fine, like I said, you didn’t hear me say it. Now, talk.”

Sephiroth sighed. “I think it’s both, it’s still hard to wrap my head around that Aerith loves me enough to marry me after all I’ve done and I also spent a long time not dealing with… not being able to deal with my desire to be a girl and now it feels like too much at once.”

Genesis nodded. “Let’s take a break from the dress, suit, outfit, what have you and do something else for bit. How about shoes. Have you thought about shoes?”

 

“Genesis, I can’t wear heels.”

“Why not? You have great legs and I already know you look amazing in heels.”

“You do know how much shorter Aerith is than me, right? If I get any taller I’m going to fall over trying to bend down to kiss her.”

Genesis was quiet for a moment and Sephiroth couldn’t help but think that he was still trying to find a way to put her in heels.

“I could wear heels with you and Angeal because you’re roughly my height. Aerith is five foot three and I’m six foot five. I am over a foot taller than she is.”

“I can’t really argue with that,” Genesis said. “Flats it is.”

“I was thinking about the dress,” Sephiroth said, following Genesis through the shoe store. “I do think I want to wear a dress, but not something too… big or form fitting.”

“What about something with a jacket,” Genesis suggested, crouching down to check the sizes on some shoe boxes. “A jacket over something flowy and loose.”

“Yeah, yeah that sounds nice.” She can look at form fitting clothes later, once she's happier with the form she's putting the clothes on.

 

* * *

 

 

“Thank you for agreeing to do my makeup,” Sephiroth said as she sat across from Tifa in a small dressing room in the newly repaired Sector Five church.

“I was honestly surprised you’d ask me of all people,” Tifa said, carefully laying out various bits of make up on the dressing table. “The make up I do for myself is pretty minimal. Not exactly wedding make up.”

“I didn’t want anything fancy or over the top,” Sephiroth replied. “I’m still not used to wearing much make up, so less is better for now at any rate. And my other options for people to ask were Genesis and Reno and both of them like glitter a bit too much for me to trust them to do my _wedding_ make up.”

Tifa made a face. “I can’t believe you even considered asking Reno.”

“It wasn’t so much ‘I considered’ as ‘he offered,’” Sephiroth said, grinning. “Genesis I considered, and not that I think he would ignore what I wanted but, he’s very comfortable wearing make up in a way that I’m not yet and it feels daunting.”

“Well, given what you brought me, it’s not going to be hard to keep your make up nice and simple.”

 

When Tifa was done Sephiroth had to take a few moments to collect herself before looking in the mirror. And it was such a relief to actual look in the mirror and like what she saw. She could still pick out every single problem she had with her appearance if pressed, but she felt good about the make up she was wearing. It wasn’t overwhelming and she really did like it.

“So what do you think?”

Sephiroth turned away from the mirror toface Tifa. “I… It’s wonderful. Thank you.”

She didn’t quite feel like just ‘thank you’ conveyed everything she wanted to say, but there was just too much going on right now for Sephiroth to be anything other than minimally coherent.

Tifa smiled and got to her feet.“Excellent. I’ll go get your mom to help you with your dress and hair.”

Sephiroth just nodded and turned back to the mirror.Her mother… for such a long time she’d known her mother as “Jenova,” but that couldn’t have been further from the truth. Finding her actual mother, thanks to Vincent Valentine, had been completely surreal. Amazing, butsurreal too. The both of them were still trying figure out how to make their relationship work, but they’d been making progress and Lucrecia had been completely thrilled and very emotional when Sephiroth asked if she would walk her down the aisle.

 

“You look lovely,” Lucrecia said, steering Sephiroth toward the full length mirror.

Sephiroth fidgeted with the skirt of her dress. It was a beautiful dress. A regency empire cut that flattered her figure as much as it hid it. “I know that in theory.”

“And I’m reminding you that it’s true in practice too. You and Genesis chose an excellent dress that looks very good on you.”

Sephiroth frowned, more out of thought than of being upset, and reached up to toy with the ends of the short sleeves.

“Do you want to wear the jacket?”

They had gotten a beautiful flowing jacket for Sephiroth to wear over the dress, because she hadn’t been sure about how she would feel with her arms uncovered. Seeing herself in the mirror now, made up in all but her hair, Sephiroth found that, once she pushed past the wedding anxiety, the feelings she had about her gender were more of euphoria than dysphoria.

“I’ll wear it to walk down the aisle,” she said, after a few moments pause.

“Am I right in thinking there’s a ‘but’ to that statement,” Lucrecia said, smiling softly.

“I think I’ll probably take it off at some point.” She didn’t want to commit to a specific time, but she felt really good in the dress and, besides, it was _her_ wedding, why shouldn’t she show off?

“Let’s wait to put on the jacket then, it’s gorgeous, but it will wrinkle immediately when you sit down, so let’s do your hair first.”

 

By the time Lucrecia finished with Sephiroth’s hair, Sephiroth felt calmer than she had since wedding preparation had begun several months ago. Her hair was done in a simple French braid that wrapped around the side of her head to fall over her shoulder. Interwoven in the braid, was a pink ribbon to match the one Aerith always wore. The one Zack had bought for her.

Sephiroth let out a long breath, feeling herself start to get teary.

“Is everything okay?” Lucrecia asked.

“Yeah, yeah, nothing’s wrong, just… old memories…” Her mother knew what happened to Zack, Sephiroth had told her, but if she talked about it now she was definitely going to end up crying and she didn’t exactly want to walk down the aisle all puffy eyed.

Lucrecia nodded, giving Sephiroth’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “I know how that goes. Promise me you won’t bottle it up?”

“I won’t. I promise.”

With that Lucrecia ushered Sephiroth to her feet so that she could get the jacket on.

 

* * *

 

 

When Sephiroth got her first glimpse of Aerith standing at the altar she very nearly tripped. Aerith was absolutely _radiant_ , dressed in a knee length white sleeveless dress that looked as much a sundress as a wedding gown with crown of the flowers that grew out of the floorboards. Frankly, if it weren’t for Lucrecia guiding her down the aisle Sephiroth probably would have just stopped to stare.

“You look amazing,” Aerith whispered, taking Sephiroth’s hand when she stops in front of the altar herself.

Sephiroth barely managed to whisper back a “So do you,” before Genesis started in on his very irreverent officiant’s speech, which was mostly embarrassing stories about Sephiroth and nothing but glowing praise of Aerith. Sephiroth had to bite her cheek to keep from reminding Genesis that she also has a laundry list of _his_ embarrassing stories.

When it finally came time for Aerith and Sephiroth to say their vows, Sephiroth let Aerith go first.

“I was scared of Sephiroth when I first met her. I’d only ever seen her public persona, which as I’m sure many would agree with me, can seem frightening if you don’t know that Sephiroth’s actually a really big softie. So I was nervous when Zack said he wanted to introduce us. I was worried for nothing, because the first thing I realized upon actually speaking to Sephiroth was that she was just as anxious about meeting me as I was about meeting her. The second thing I realized, was that Zack had an absolutely hopeless crush on Sephiroth.”

Aerith took a deep breath and Sephiroth squeezed her hand gently. She knew how this story went all too well.

“It might seem weird to some to talk about someone you used to date at your own wedding, but the only reason Zack’s not up here with us or heckling us from the audience is because he’s gone. Sephiroth and I didn’t expect anything to come from what initially began as seeking comfort after Zack’s death, but here we are. So thanks for introducing us Zack, you big idiot. I like to think that wherever you are you’re excessively pleased with yourself that your girlfriends are marrying each other. ”

Sephiroth and Aerith were both in tears by the time Aerith finished. But even then, Sephiroth couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her at the end. It was incredibly true; Zack would have been over the moon to see her and Aerith get married.

Then it was her turn and Sephiroth had to pause for a moment to steady herself before she spoke.

“I don’t think it’s any secret that Aerith is something special,” Sephiroth began. “I mean, she’s practically a minor deity, but... that’s not why I fell in love with her.”

Aerith rolled her eyes, but she was smiling and it made Sephiroth smile too.

“I was a little enamored with her from the moment I met her,” Sephiroth continued. “I had never met a person like Aerith before. She was soft in a way I’d never seen. For a while, my feelings towards her almost felt jealous, not of her relationship with Zack, but of who she was as a person. Genesis probably would have described it as not being sure if I wanted to be her or date her, but he and I weren’t exactly on speaking terms at the time.”

There were several poorly disguised snickers from the audience and Genesis gave a very undignified snort. Sephiroth, for her part, felt very pleased at the reaction.

“Regardless of how our relationship started, something changes when someone pulls you back from past the point of break and I will never be able to thank Aerith enough for that. She was also the first one to help me feel like I wasn’t the monster that I’d thought I was.”

Sephiroth paused again, needing a moment to collect herself before she went on.

“I had more that I’d written, but I don’t think I need to repeat what has already been said about Zack. We both loved him dearly and I want to think that he’d be glad that we’ve been able to move on. He had the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever known, save maybe Aerith.”

 

There were no rings exchanged, neither Aerith or Sephiroth had felt the need for that materialistic of a gesture, small though it was. So the ceremony ended with Genesis saying a blessing, purportedly of the Goddess Minerva, but Sephiroth thought it was equally likely that Genesis had just made it up. Either way, it was really the sentiment that mattered.

When Genesis finished speaking, Aerith didn’t wait an instant before jumping up to throw her arms around Sephiroth’s neck. It wasn’t the easiest way to initiate a kiss, but as Sephiroth swooped Aerith into her arms, she had to think it was certainly the most fun.


End file.
